People always say to live it up in your twenties. We’re young, fit, most likely employed somewhere we plan on quitting or even more likely than that not employed at all. We’re fresh from college so we’re used to getting minimal sleep and fully functioning the next day. Our alcohol tolerance has increased monumentally, paving the way for movie-worthy nights of legal drinking and lost memories. Moreover, many of us are single, free to make plans with ourselves and our vivacious twenty-something friends with no one to answer to but our parents who we probably still live with.
Life at this stage is supposed to be exciting! We’re supposed to go on adventures, make mistakes, learn life lessons we can one day bore our children with. At this point, the best advice I can give my future children is to NEVER miss the 2:49 AM train from Penn Station to Long Island. My kids will be spared from some witty anecdote about missing that train involving a homeless person and his cat since I NEVER did. Advice #2: follow your own advice. However, my children will hear harrowing tales of responsibly consuming alcohol and passing out in my own bed alone by midnight after drinking a glass of water to hinder the pathetic excuse of a hangover that I can no longer handle. My daughter will learn the value of wine night with the girls that ends promptly at 10:30 PM because it’s a week night and we’re all tired from our jobs. She should probably take notes.
Personally, television and the media have created a universally unrealistic image of a twenty-something-year-old. According to Hollywood, at 23 I should be going out with friends, dressing scandalously and taking an unruly amount of selfies. Not everyone is that photogenic. My love life should be unnecessarily chaotic or comfortably stable (of which it is neither). However, I feel comfortable portraying the opposite. I don’t have the stamina to stay out all night, this girl needs her beauty sleep. I like watching hours of The Real Housewives (of anywhere) instead of hitting up a club, grinding with strangers and causing irreparable ear drum damage. If I’m getting a cold one, I’m going out for ice cream. That way the only thing I regret in the morning is the calories.
This lifestyle isn’t for everyone. I understand there are crazy people out there who enjoy putting on clothes and applying makeup on a Friday night. If you’re this person and do that and have a great time, that’s cool! Go out and socialize, its healthy! I’m not judging you, if anything, you’re judging me. And I’m okay with that.
But if you’re one of those people that hop in their sweats and decline an activity requiring jeans, then we are one in the same. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay and you’re not alone. At this point, you’ve accepted the hit to your social life and resolved to be outgoing next time. You’ll find love one day. In fact, Patti Stanger is about to give you advice on how to find that love and by God you’ll be pissed if you miss it.