Find yourself having a lazy day in life? Doesn’t matter where you are, the only thing that matters is that you have internet access. You’ve checked your e-mail a thousand times, nothing exciting is happening on Facebook and you’ve watched about all the videos of cats you can take in one sitting. What avenue of internet distraction will you turn to next? I know! Pinterest! The female Reddit! But, not really. That’s the best comparison I can make. Did it help? No? Try reading it again. Still nothing? Okay, just keep reading. Basically, Pinterest is a website where you can keep all the things on the internet that you want to remember by “pinning” them to your homepage.
I’ve turned to Pinterest to occupy “free” time repeatedly in the last few years and you know what I’ve learned? I suck. I suck at cooking, I suck at DIY projects, I suck at working out, I have no money and I suck at applying my own make up or curling my fucking hair with a fucking straightening iron! Sorry, that last one really gets me. They make it look so simple! Screw you, Pinterest!
Since Pinterest sufficiently steals hours of my life, I’m going to steal a few minutes of yours (unless you’re a slow reader…my apologies for the time you won’t get back). I’ve constructed a brief list of helpful life lessons that I’ve learned from Pinterest.
Things Pinterest has taught me:
- Crafts are not as easy as the instructions imply.
- Just because you follow the recipe does not mean the product will be edible. It also doesn’t mean the product will resemble the photograph…at all. This also applies to crafts.
- Pinning work out exercises does not automatically mean you remember what they are. It also doesn’t mean you actually work out.
- Looking at pictures of food inevitably increases hunger. As well as an increasing desire to become a novice chef.
- It’s okay to plan your future wedding even without a fiancé. Or boyfriend. Everyone does.
- Creativity is not absorbed through the computer screen.No matter how many DIY crafts you pin.
- Everything is funnier when written on an E-card. Especially insults.
- How to be an awesome mom…at some point in the distant future (hopefully).
- I can continue trying to make crazy braids in my hair, but the keyword will always be “trying”. Pretty sure those girls have eight arms. Only an octopus is capable of creating such hairdo masterpieces.
- Modge Podge is the end all be all of crafts. You can buy some at your local craft store. But then you won’t what to do with it.
- There are infinite designs that can be created on your fingernails with nail polish. Proceed with caution. It’s witchcraft.
- This website is Mecca for teachers that want to be creative. I want to be a teacher just so it’s acceptable to make really cool lesson plans. OtherwiseI’m just the weird girl with beautifully designed math equations on her bedroom wall.
- People are geniuses when it comes to organizing. If I ever get around to it, I can be an organizing genius too. Because I’ll have copied them.
- Many, many people have way better style than me. And I want all of their clothes. In my closet. Immediately.
- Unfortunately, you can’t always get what you want.
Damn you, Pinterest! Making life equally hard and easy at the same time!
And despite the way Pinterest makes me feel sometimes, I know that one day in the future it will come in handy, like if I have to cook a meal, or redesign my room, or plan my big, fat, Jewish wedding. At least Pinterest will be there to connect me with millions of people who will give me step-by-step instructions. Wait, not everyone does that? What the F@#$! Ugh…. At least the humor page is always reliable. You want to laugh, that’s where you have to go. Psh, that’s what I’m doing right now.
If Pinterest isn’t for you, there are plenty of other things to do on Saturday night (tomorrow, June 8th), like join us at Relay for Life in Cantiague Park. Kram Comedy will be performing at 9:30 pm for about 2 hours. You can find the details here. If you’d like, you can join our team and become a Relay for Life Kram Comedy member. Come support the fight against cancer, promote community events and laugh at some hilarious improv!
Have you you learned anything from Pinterest? Maybe you’ve had better luck. Leave comment or tweet me @tobyjaye19. Pics of Pinterest accomplishments and fails are welcome!