Breaking News: History has Validated My Opinion

Part of me really hates when “historic” shit happens.  You know the kind of shit I’m talking about.  It’s the few areas that everyone just has to get involved in; the shit that everyone has a half-cocked opinion about; the shit that you can’t go more than two posts or articles down without having to read some doucher’s enlightened thesis about.  “Damn it’s happening again.” No it’s not since this isn’t an opinion, it’s social commentary and therefore hierarchically better in the “Grand List of Shit Nobody Cares About.” You clicked the link.  Back to the point, it’s not so much history that’s the problem, it’s the people that get in the way.  News flash but things happen every day and for whatever reason the way things work only one thing can happen at a time in a point of space.  Shocking.  The problem isn’t that historic shit keeps happening but the fact that everybody has to let everyone else know that they’re on the correct “side” of shit when it goes down.

Yeah part of that DOMA got struck down today in case you hadn’t heard.  Woo hoo, yippie, marriage for everyone!  I didn’t really care one way or another what the result was but I cringed at the thought of what the public outcry would be wherever the result ended up.  Yeah, we get it, depriving people of rights and shit is bad.  Yes, we know you also think that it’s bad, so you really don’t have to post about it every 7.5 minutes for us to know.  You have the approval of your peers, the Gods, Larry King, and probably Oprah.  No worries.  When the government rounds us all up and kills people based on what side of an issue you fell on don’t worry, you have a combined 1,368 friends and followers who can vouch for how much you love the gays and their right to marry, along with your disapproval of African hunger and how much AIDS sucks.

Now I’m just using this as an example.  It’s the same way when a particular team wins, celebrity dies, president gets elected, law gets passed, law gets killed, Kardashian gets a kid, food gets made, food gets crapped, right gets trampled, movie gets released, celebrity says something racist, bomb gets dropped, baby gets fed, car gets crashed, war gets started, kid gets molested, athlete does drugs, or secret gets released.  Everyone wants to be heard but more than that everyone wants to think they’re right.

You can tell this is true just based on the stupid things people say. The great example of this is from today when I see multiple peoples’ posts championing the fact that “I’m so glad I came down on the right side of history.” Bitch history don’t give a fuck about you, it’s going to come down down however it does unless you’re trying to do something to influence it. I can guarantee that your posts, articles, or whatever didn’t do that, so no one can act like they have some kind of moral, intellectual, physical, or spiritual high ground when history coincidentally ends up agreeing with their opinion or thought. More on point even, it’s not about you. It’s about whoever it directly affects, for example gay people and their families. It’s definitely not about you being “right” or whatever. How self centered.

I’m glad for the people of the 1940’s that the internet didn’t exist. Can you fuckin imagine what May 1, 1945 would have looked like? Yeah, Hitler’s dead.  That’s great and all, but no one was really debating that one so there’s really no need to seek approval from everyone else about it. Don’t worry, you came out on the right side of history on this one, so let your ego be satisfied.

Now this basically only happens because of technology, Facebook, Twitter, and all of that crap.  “Just gett off Facebook then.”  Why don’t you just get off Facebook then, I’m trying to keep tally on where everyone comes down on history.

Corey Aaron


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