The 8 People You Might See on the Railroad

The train (or any mode of public transportation) is a good spot to see an interesting cross section of the general public. I could talk about the NYC subway and people that you’ll see there (it’s crazy) but I don’t feel quite qualified enough. Without further ado here’s my list of the people you’ll see on the train:

1. Zealous fans headed to the Met, Yankee, Knicks, Nets or whatever game in or around the city- They’ll have some beer in tow (shit’s expensive at these stadiums) and will be willing to argue with anyone who says some shit about their team.

2. The party boys who are either pregaming hard or already pretty drunk on their way to some club in the city- They’re probably playing some music that you’d normally like but currently hate and are most definitely trying to amp themselves up to try to get some pussy they’ll surely never get. I can sometimes fall into this category.

3. Hot chicks- you’ll inevitably see a group of chicks ranging from hot to smokin’ hot heading to the city for a night of drunken celebration of their collective hotness, or at least that’s why I imagine they’re going out. In actuality they’re probably going clubbing to meet guys they’ll never see again, but don’t worry they won’t give you or your friends any trouble.

4. Ugly chicks who think they’re hot- unfortunately you’ll also see the group of girls who think they’re hot shit, wearing clothes that wouldn’t fit them if you chopped them in half, and more annoying than everyone on the train except maybe the party boys. One of them inevitably has a shrill voice that she has no issues with showing off. There will be at least one in the group you’d probably still bang anyway, especially if your friends wouldn’t find out.

5. The kids too young to get into whatever place they’re trying to get into- You might see a group of youngins with nervous, paranoid looks on their faces. They’re either high or heading into the city to go to a place that their fake ID certainly won’t get them into. You might see them coming back later with looks of shame and disappointment.

6. Travelers- people with so much fucking luggage you can never pass by or sit within seven seats of them.

7. Weirdos- you know the people I’m talking about without needing to describe them. Maybe they’re shaking violently, talking to themselves, ranting about impending doom, whatever. You stay away from them and so does everyone else who values their life.

8. Ragers, ravers, or music festival goers- they’re probably donning brightly colored clothing and flamboyant accessories. The chicks probably look hot and there’s a good chance they have some kind of drug you may or may not want to get your hands on. If you’re also heading to this event try to make friends, you never know who you can score a drunken make-out with.

Some honorable mentions: Santas, leprechauns, hipsters, foreigners, crying babies, couples that won’t stop making out, celebrity look-a-likes, pizza trays, and snobby high classers.

C.A.

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