Dropping Friends Of The Opposite Sex

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Hm, how can I properly introduce this topic that I’d like some feedback on… Let’s see.

Okay, being a girl (contrary to popular belief) I can only speak from the female perspective, so that’s how I’m going to write this. If the opposite sex has any agreements or differing opinions please write it in the comments where I’ll read it and most likely disagree. But at least your voice will be heard.

Over the years I’ve had a few close guy friends. Close enough where they knew too many details about my life and still enjoyed hanging out with me. We were really good friends and I thought we could stay that way. Ya know, kind of grow up together. Chat about college life when we’re old and have families and real jobs and mortgages. They could give me guy advice while I gave them girl advice (which I am excellent at). I just never really thought we’d lose touch. But then, doesn’t that happen more often than you think?

When these guy friends started dating people and had serious relationships, they pretty much cut me out of their lives. Cool. It would have been easier to handle if they had given me a heads up. Like, “Oh, Tob, I’m dating this girl. If we become official, remember how we talk to each other? Yeah, I’m ending that. Thanks, though”. At least that would have been self-explanatory and I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself by trying to get in touch with the guy to be ignored or short texted. There’s nothing worse than reading a text and inherently knowing that the person doesn’t want to talk to you. And what’s worse is you painfully trying to keep the conversation going when there is zero interest from the other side. You know what I’m talking about.

When I have boyfriends (okay, the 3 times I’ve had boyfriends – yeesh, I’d better get on that) I try and stay friends with the people I’m friends with already. In fact, balancing everyone gives me dating anxiety and semi-keeps me from having serious relationships if I’m afraid I won’t be able to balance. I say “semi” because I clearly have other problems. But enough about me, this is about the people that have stopped talking to me because they find themselves talking to the girl they are actually sleeping with. OMG. Is that it? Have I answered my own question?

I just want to know why this happens. Why do some people feel compelled to drop some people they’re close with. Were they filling a void that the new girlfriend fills now? I did not mean that sexually, but let’s face it, fill the void is a pretty sexual string of words.

But seriously, I’m interested in why this happens. I’ve told one guy and he apologized and felt bad. Do the others even realize it? Am I just that generic of a friend that I’m easily replaced? …Not many of you can answer that, but let’s work from your own experiences. Yeah, that’s a good start.

Comments greatly appreciated.


2 thoughts on “Dropping Friends Of The Opposite Sex

  1. Came across this randomly probably too late to respond but you kinda answers your own question “balancing everyone gives me dating anxiety and semi-keeps me from having serious relationships” same goes for the guys. And also women are naturally catty, just cause u aren’t trying to have sex with your guy friends is not gonna stop their new girlfriend from thinking you are… Back off and let them get through the rocky beginnings of a new relationship, things will settle and balance will be restored.

    • Thanks for the advice! I haven’t actually spoken to the guys with girlfriends in a while so they may be lost causes, but in the future I’ll let the relationship settle and hope for the best!

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