As many of you with social media or the intelligence to read a paper or interest to watch the news are aware of the government shutdown due to Congress’s inability to pass a budget thanks to a Republican ploy to defund the Affordable Care Act, more commonly known as Obamacare. I’ve seen numerous Facebook statuses about this and quite frankly I appreciate all the political rambling. It helps me stay informed. Not only on peoples’ own opinions, but I also run across gems like this: Jon Stewart’s explanation of what the hell is going on:
I understand this is a very important issue in the United States creating a serious problem for government workers, the military, museums and national parks and landmarks, oh and Americans, too. But what else is going on that we can talk about? Maybe you’ll come across someone so far under a rock they think LOST is still on television. Perhaps there’s someone so out of the loop they think Clinton is still shtupping Monica Lewinksy. After staring at this person for an unnaturally long amount of time in disbelief of their ignorance, you’re going to have to find something else to talk about and I’m going to help you out.
Here are some other topics besides the government shutdown:
How about them Yankees? Oh yeah, their season’s over…nevermind.
Football! Let’s talk New York Football! Oh, they’re not doing well either? Giants still haven’t won a game? Yikes.
Lots of season finales recently! Dexter, Breaking Bad…Oh, you don’t want spoilers? Well, Dexter ended two weeks ago and if you can go this long without watching a season finale you weren’t really that involved anyway. Poser.
What’s going on with this weather? It’s October, people! Pretty sure there’s something strange going on when it’s 80 degrees and it’s no longer summer. The bugs are so confused they were swarming today and taking up residence in my hair. Not a fan.
Remember that guy involved in the shooting near Roosevelt Field Mall? Probably not because people have a memory the size of a pea, but he was found dead. Case closed New York. You can aimlessly walk the halls of the mall without fear. Just be weary of the lighting company where the shooting took place. Buy your light sources at Ikea.
Halloween is in 30 days! Get those costumes ready, you’re running out of time.
October means my scary shows come back! American Horror Story: Coven and The Walking Dead. I’ve never needed a cuddle buddy more. Good thing I have my dog. Who hates sleeping in my bed. And kicks.
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth broke up and Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are no more. There is good in the world. Now if we could just fix Amanda Bynes. Maybe we should Ask Ashley.
It’s Fall! Sweaters, pumpkin spice and boots for all! Dont’ forget chunky scarves, northface jackets and girls that wear nothing because they like being cold.
Catching Fire comes out in two months. Who will Katniss choose? Peeta or Gale? I know. Because I read the books. Boom.
Sushi is the shit. Had some today. It was phenomenal.
Perhaps Youtube is a more relatable option:
I’ve actually been on Youtube for the past 30 minutes watching videos of families giving puppies as surprise presents and it’s amazing. You’ll feel like a better person and also really want a puppy. Animal hoarders beware.
(True or false, I went back to find a video I liked and watched for another 20 minutes. It’s a sickness)
So maybe there isn’t too much to talk about. If you’ve got any ideas, let me know in the comments below. I need something cool and hip to post in my status that has no relation to the government, our President or food.
Come to our improv show Saturday, Oct 5th. That’ll give you something to talk about.
Peace and Lov…wait, that’s not sign off phrase.