Zombies Rule, Dr. Manny Drools

So it’s 12:45pm. I skipped the gym because I was tired and promised myself I’d go three times next week while consuming more kit-kats than socially acceptable. Instead of reading my book, I decided to scroll through Facebook on my phone because my computer was turned off and I didn’t feel like opening it up again. In doing so, I came across an article that someone posted on Foxnews.com written about the public’s zombie obsession and how it’s negatively effecting society.

Here’s the article.


Before I begin, let me just say that the book I’m reading is in fact a zombie book. It’s ‘Warm Bodies’. If some of you recall, this book was made into a movie earlier this year and it was awesome. I’d also like to point out that I LOVE ZOMBIES! You’ll find me glued to the TV every Sunday night at 9pm EST for one of my favorite shows, The Walking Dead. Let me also say that I had a difficult time getting through this article because I was offended at the blanket accusations this man was making.

He begins by stating that American society is obsessed with violence. I will not disagree with you there, sir. There are a number of television shows, movies, video games, books, etc.. that revolve around violence. But I’m gonna throw this out there, life is relatively violent. You can turn a blind eye to the dangers of society, or you can realize they’re everywhere. While I don’t condone violence, I understand why there’s an attraction to it. What he fails to mention before he bashes the brains out of zombies, is that there are plenty of violent video games that have no zombies at all. In fact, I’d make the argument that more of those games exist than zombie killing ones. I mean, he uses the phrase “zombie violence”, now that’s just comical. Everyone knows that zombie violence is okay because that’s serious life or death. If you are not violent toward that zombie you will die. There’s no talking down a zombie. You can’t threaten him with jail time or weigh heavily on his guilty conscience because he has none. He’s a zombie.

He literally blamed children becoming more violent on zombie games. Oh, I forgot GTA V doesn’t exist. Or COD. Or WOW. Or any other violent video game where people kill other living people. Woops. Perhaps he only grew up on Mario Party. And lived under a rock.

Then he decides to question the recent obsession despite the fact that zombies have been around for decades. Does it matter? You’re not questioning the countless vampire shows and movies and books that are out. I bet once people start biting other peoples’ necks he’ll have something to say about it. But until there’s some kind of social activity, like, say, a 5k run, there’s no real danger. Did he really bring a recreational run into his argument? Zombie runs are all about adrenaline. I personally would not be able to compete due to my crippling fear of zombies and the fact that I would murder anyone who tried to touch me. They could be real zombies. You never know. These runs are meant to be a fun way to exercise and compete. He’s not understanding the point. Yes, it’s a glimpse into what life would be like if there was, in fact, a zombie apocalypse, but he said it himself, “their mythology has even been studied by scientists to prove that such an outbreak can never occur”, so why’s he’s being such a dick about it. Is America not allowed to have fun with the undead anymore?

As for the CDC and NIH coming out with zombie outbreak protocols, they write them so people are well-versed in how to survive a natural disaster. It’s all the same preparation, just a more fun (or terrifying) way to teach it. If he knew anything about teaching, you need to appeal to the different types of learners. If one method doesn’t work (ie: reality) give them something else to relate to.

And this doctor guy comes in here trying to tell us what we should be calling entertainment, “Our brains should be less focused on imaginary zombie hoards and more focused on harnessing the tools that we need in order to enhance our lives, whether it be music, education, science or the classics.” Well shit, I’m sorry I’m not as sophisticated as you want me to be. You know what I consider the classics? Zombies. You know what I need in order to enhance my life? A full knowledge of how to survive a zombie apocalypse and a crossbow. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.


Any additional thoughts on this guy’s poor attitude toward zombies? …or if you agree with him… Comment below!




2 thoughts on “Zombies Rule, Dr. Manny Drools

  1. I always get a kick out of when people say that “American society is obsessed with violence”, when all you have to do is look around the world and realize the human race itself is generally obsessed with violence. The worst part is people act as if its something new, history proves other wise. Roman gladiator games anyone? The Greek sport of Pankration? At least with Zombies their already dead!

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