In the adult world dating generally consists of some activity and then if it goes well perhaps the two end up at one of their houses or apartments. As the relationship progresses, the two spend more time together at each others’ homes. These homes are occupied by just the person or maybe some roommates. When your roommates happen to be your parents, these steps are very difficult to reach.
If you haven’t gathered anything from the first paragraph, I live at home. My parents and sisters also live at home. My house is the furthest from romantic and peaceful setting you expect while dating. I can’t invite a guy over to hang out because the only place that has any peace is my bedroom and that room is merely livable. Only my close friends are allowed to be in there and it’s for short bouts of time. Doing that reminds me of high school where I feel perpetually stuck while living at home. My parents still wonder where I am at night, they feed me dinner (when they feel like it) and they buy my food. If I had dated in high school maybe dating post-college would be easier. You have no choice in high school. Since everyone is living with their parents it’s the norm. But now, in our twenties as college graduates it feels really weird.
I had no problem staying at someone’s house or room in college. Let’s not get carried away though, it wasn’t often that I found myself in that situation, but I didn’t shy away from it because I was worried my housemates would be concerned about my absence. At home, I do feel like that. I know my parents would wonder where I was. I know that because my dad wakes up and texts me when I’m not home. I’m also very honest with my parents. In college your night out becomes a fun story to tell your friends, at home it becomes a breach of privacy or a potentially inappropriate conversation between parent and child. I don’t have to tell my parents where I’m going, but I like to. Telling them I’m going to stay with a guy they don’t know is a bit awkward. Sorry Mom and Dad, but it happens. It hasn’t happened since I’ve been home (depressing), but it does happen. Maybe you’ll meet him one day, maybe you won’t but I’d really rather not mention it.
That’s another issue with living at home and beginning a relationship. Meeting the parents becomes a much quicker activity than if you moved out. People I date end up coming to my house sometimes and meet my family and then I’m not interested and we end things and he met my family for no reason. It also works the opposite way. I dated a guy that spent a lot of time with his family and I met the family immediately. We didn’t last much longer, for mostly other reasons, but that didn’t help.
What I don’t understand is how people do live at home and still bring people home. I’m pretty confident I would have a tough time sleeping at someone’s house where I’ll be greeted by their parents the next day – mostly if this was a new relationship. All you people in long term relationships or had relationships in high school, you know what it’s like. I’m talking about those guys that go out to a club and bring a girl home and wake her up so she can eat pancakes his mommy made. That’s sick.
A lot of millenials end up living at home again after graduating from undergrad or during their graduate degrees. It’s definitely tough for us to acquire enough money to logically move out and take on the world. So while we’re waiting, we’re stuck at home in the beds we had in high school sharing a bathroom with our siblings. It would definitely be nice to live on my own and date freely without the pressure from the parents or the awkwardness associated with it.
Do other people feel this way? Is dating harder while you’re living at home? Comment below or tweet me @tobyjaye19