Personal Ad: Roommate Wanted

As some of you might know, I’m moving to Boston in a few months (sorry, LI) and I’ve been searching for a roommate to share an apartment with. Unfortunately no one seems to want to follow up on my ads. Maybe I need to include some more fun facts about me and what living with me would be like. I’ll try some out here and see if anyone bites.

Fun Facts About Me That You’ll Find Out Eventually If We Live Together: 

I have a dog! He’s a big mush that loves my mom more than me. He’s also part husky and howls at passing sirens which is hilarious. I can see how it could be annoying, but I disagree with you because it’s not. Sadly, he’s very picky about his canine friends so for now, only one dog will do. Eventually you’ll hear his awful angry bark and I apologize in advance, it’s terrifying.

I love Friends! You know, that TV show about six twentysomethings living life in NYC! I quote it all the time and everything relates back to an episode. If you prefer Seinfeld, it’s okay, I’ll tolerate you and your dry, Jerry humor. I may even interest you in a sarcastic comment.

I can assure you of cleanliness in rooms we share, however that assurance ends in my own living quarters. I have too many clothes but not enough outfits and hate putting things away.

If you loathe reality TV we may have a problem. Bravo for life!

Sundays are meant for relaxing, watching sad movies and not showering. I’ve been doing this since college. This will never change.

Nightly visitors will be rare unless someone decides they like me. If that happens often you should buy earplugs. Just kidding, I’ll be quiet.

TOBY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD! Unless politely asked in advance.

I’ll be bartending (fingers crossed) so you can have people over at night without being bothered 😉 but puhlease be quiet in the morning. This girl needs her beauty rest.

You will sometimes be shocked at my morning appearance.

You will probably hear me talking to myself. It helps me think and weirds people out. I bet you do weird things, too. Something we can bond over.

I’m looking for a male or female roommate. Gender doesn’t matter. But if it’s a guy at least we can make out. Sorry ladies, I only swing one way.

If you want to stay in and gorge ourselves on unhealthy snacks such as chips and salsa, Oreos or ice cream while gossiping I’m your girl.

If you geek out to things such as Doctor Who, LOTR and Harry Potter – we’ll get along swimmingly. Probably better than Dory and Marlin – another movie I quote.

Don’t live with me if you don’t quote things (ie: movies, television, pop culture). I won’t understand you’re random choice of words strung together to form sentences.

I always carry a bottle of Peptobismol. Consider yourself lucky.

Think we could live together? Dear God, I hope so. Let me know? Maybe this is better than Craigslist.

Your future roommate,
Toby

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