Love In The Holiday Season

Hi everyone! Please excuse our week long break. We get breaks too. Not just teachers. And the government.

Here’s the story of the holiday season:

I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS IN LOVE AND THEIR LOVE IS SPREADING AND LOVE FILLS THE AIR AS POLLEN SO EVERYONE CATCHES IT LIKE THE PLAGUE SO WE ALL BECOME INFECTED WITH LOVE AND BECOME LOVE ZOMBIES THAT CAN’T KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF EACH OTHER AND THEIR LIPS AND TEETH AND MAKE POOR DECISIONS LIKE EATING EACH OTHERS’ HEARTS AND BRAINS BUT THOSE DECISIONS ARE ACCEPTABLE BECAUSE THEY’RE MOTIVATED BY LOVE AND WE SHOUT OUR LOVE THROUGH FACEBOOK BECAUSE WE DON’T HAVE A MOUNTAIN WE HAVE A NEWSROOM AND A CAMERA AND WE BUY EXPENSIVE PRESENTS FOR THOSE WE LOVE LIKE ENGAGEMENT RINGS THE SIZE OF THEIR FIST OR VIDEO GAME CONSOLES WITH DIAMONDS BECAUSE WE LOVE THEM AND THEN WE FIND OUT WE’RE BROKE.

That’s the story of the holiday season.

The end.

Much love,

Toby

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One thought on “Love In The Holiday Season

  1. Yup basically sums it up! Unless you’re single, then you’ve money to burn… well except the whole being an underpaid grad student thing lol

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