There is nothing more that I hate than unlawful drivers that think they constantly have the right of way when, IN FACT, they do not! This drives me up the wall. I definitely don’t have an extreme case of road rage, but I so badly want to flip those people off and yell some profanities out my window when I pass them. But I don’t. Generally, when there are a lot of people being assholes, I just shake my head and assume karma will make them pay. And if karma doesn’t step in, I will. Just kidding. I’ll get my friends to do it.
Recently I’ve been witness to two forms of dbag drivers.
Here’s the first:
I’m currently house sitting in a different neighborhood and in this neighborhood the city planner decided to make this traffic situation.
Let me set this up for you. I was going straight and stopped lawfully at my stop sign. At the stop sign I noticed the lady in the minivan approaching the left turning lane. As she was driving closer to the appropriate point at which she should turn, I was done with my stop sign and proceeded as any driver would. This lady driver did not appreciate that considering she wanted to continuing driving through her turn without stopping for oncoming traffic EVEN THOUGH SHE’S IN THE LEFT LANE. Listen lady, just because your intention was to turn 20 feet before the lane actually permits doesn’t justify you sitting on you horn chastising me for doing the right thing. I was done with my stop sign and you still had lane left. I was going straight, you were turning. You wait your goddamn turn and stop acting like you own the road! Time to take a defensive driving course bitch. Good thing you didn’t break the law and turn because then you would have hit me BECAUSE YOU WERE MAKING A LEFT. I got so heated after that incident, I called my mom.
In this second scenario I present to you Old Country Road in Westbury. The scum of the earth drive this road because they’re all complete deuchebags. Not one of these people has a soul (except for the guy that let me merge from the parkway, he’s cool). For some reason, everyone becomes an idiot during rush hour.
For example, all you people that decide to continue making a turn even though the light has turned yellow and has been yellow for a while and you know you won’t make it safely into your designated lane, you’re the worst! Oh, is that a red light? Fuck it. I’m gonna turn anyway and pray that my lane moves fast enough so I’m not blocking all the other people that are in just as much as a rush as me. Oh shit, I’m that guy blocking an entire lane of cars. And then everyone honks at that guy like that’s gonna do something. Let me honk my horn at the guy that blatantly made a dick move but can’t physically correct his mistake. Honking does shit in traffic, people! Hint, hint: It only works when the car ahead of you has space to move! Dickwads. I just don’t understand why people can’t patiently wait at their stop. It’s so simple and avoids so much hatred toward you. So. Much. Hatred.
Please just work with me and abide by traffic laws. We’ll get along so much better. Promise.
You’re welcome for the art work provided to you by Toby and Paint and the letters F and U.