I have nothing else to write about so lets look at the other side of the coin that Simon wrote about here. Having a small dong sounds like nothing but a curse, but as you’ve read before there are many inconveniences that come along with having a Godzilla-sized dong. Get out your magnifying glasses folks, here are some of the realities of having a tiny penis.
For one you never have to worry about tying your dong up while trying to fasten your boots, or any footwear for the matter.
You can have sex in a closet and the only size related thing you’ll have to worry about is fitting the beast who actually wants you and your tiny pecker.
If you’re ever at a loss for something funny to say to the ladies you can just whip out that dick and revel in the chorus of laughter. After all no chick will get a restraining order for something so minuscule and nonthreatening.
That couch that you have that someone burned a tiny hole in? New fuck buddy!
Don’t have to worry about dickbite (yeah, frostbite of the peen, as opposed to the other kind of dick bite) when there’s only four inches of snow on the ground.
Find some way to thread that shit and you never have to worry about finding a needle when that annoying button finally falls off your favorite jacket.
You never have to pull the wasteband trick.
You don’t have to worry about your fear boner getting shot off the next time you get mugged or are involved in a heist.
You can be the sneakiest “guess if I’m aroused” player who doesn’t have internal genitals.
You’ll never get toilet poo-water on your dong head if you slack while taking a crap.
You can freak guys out at urinals when they look over and see a stream of pee coming from tummy.
Never worry about hurting a lady with your tiny, gentle penis.
If you’re carrying a chode you can be “burrito man” for Halloween. All you need’s the foil. Hey nobody said it was a big burrito.
If you spill coffee or some comparably hot beverage you’ll never have to worry about burns on your trouser-snake.
You can put a hat on it and not block out the sun.
These all sound like great advantages to having a small penis but lets face it, it’s still just a tiny dick and I know for a fact that a woman is more likely to stay with the guy that can crack her over the head with his massive dong than the guy who gets the girl to laugh at his absent one. Wait, you’re telling me she can’t go anywhere because the head shot knocked her out? I’m not going there.
Something something double entendre penis something.