App for Google Glass Can ID You; Creepers and Those Who Hate Social Interaction Rejoice

I’m sure by now everyone’s heard of Google Glass. Do I need to explain this one? I think I can safely assume that if you’re able to access this post and care enough to read it that you’ve heard the words “Google Glass” either spoken or written, in that order and to mean exactly what I’m talking about right now. I guess you’ve seen it a few more times if you frequently Google: glass. Actually from what I know about glass I’m sure you could learn some pretty fascinating stuff (unsurprisingly “Google Glass” comes up before the Wikipedia page for “Glass.” I do all the legwork so you don’t have to. Don’t worry, I won’t make you thank me).

At least 8/10 of you probably already know what I’m talking about. Pretty conservative estimate I would think.  All of you have at least heard of Google right? I would think we’re definitely past the point where someone hasn’t heard of Google. I mean they’ve mapped the whole world at this point, except for like North Korea, probably parts of Russia, and other than that I guess just the places they didn’t want to go. Probably getting to, if not already at that “Batman” or “Coca Cola” status.

Jeez, even my non-explanations are long. I mean I’m doing this on a Friday, so if I’m going to do it might as well give you something to look at. Whatever man, I’ll work on it.  Anyway I’m getting to the real part, so just chill dude.

Google Glass (a decent amount of info can be found here) is supposedly supposed to come out sometime in the second half of the year (ironically enough the link I provided has “release date” in the title yet has no mention of it. I got it from the comments and admit I didn’t search beyond that but you don’t really care when this comes out). After this revelation you might! Wait, are you allowed to respond to something said in the parentheses? Well I just did.

So apparently there’s this app that’s being developed for Google Glass that uses facial recognition software (which Google doesn’t allow on Glass, but that can be circumvented by jailbreaking methinks) to identify people. Apparently it can bring up pictures, online profiles, probably that Tumbler you’ve devoted to endearingly quirky Jennifer Lawrence quotes, and maybe even that Ok Cupid profile you set up, but never check. It can even check to see if you have a criminal record, so watch out for that one if you’re the type who likes to batter, deal, or end up on sex offender registries. Oh and the best part is apparently when the app goes live you have to opt-out in order to not come up when that guy at the bar wearing his jailbroken Google Glass tries to scan your face in order to learn that you “really love going out and having a good time, but also like to stay in and relax with a bottle of wine and maybe a good book” and that you had “the time of your life studying abroad in Europe” before he has to decide whether or not it’s worth going up to you to try to find any of those things out on his own. Yeah that was a long one, go back and read it again.

Anyway the point was that as of now if you don’t want to come up you have to tell them you don’t want to come up. Interesting. You can read a little more about this here (yeah it’s an E online article. Have to please the masses right? Don’t women and gay dudes love E? And there’s definitely more women and gay dudes than not gay dudes. You have to play the numbers in this competitive world) or here if you want to read about Al Franken expressing his concerns (he’s still technically a senator).

Oh and the best part was a quote by one of the creators of the app (viaIndependent): “It’s not about invading anyone’s privacy; it’s about connecting people that want to be connected. We will even allow users to have one profile that is seen during business hours and another that is seen in social situations. NameTag can make the big, anonymous world we live in as friendly as a small town.”

Umm, okay, but even Zuckerberg wasn’t audacious enough to sign everyone up for Facebook then make them come opt-out of having a profile. Actually in hindsight I’m sure he wishes he could have done that. Anyway just reread that last line. “NameTag can make the big, anonymous world we live in as friendly as a small town.” I mean I guess I kind of see where they’re coming from here? On the one hand it can be daunting to go up to someone cold and get something going but on the other hand I know someone who once gave his number to a girl that rang up his groceries or waited on his table or some shit and made up a whole fake name and back story (to hide his relationship status) and she was still able to find out everything about him on the internet so how anonymous of a world do we really live in? Damn, shit’s deep son.

The implications of this are pretty funny. I mean first of all I feel like there’s going to be some funny profiling.  Who’s really going to trust the creepy looking dude sitting there or walking around with their Glass on? On second thought who’s really going to trust any dude sitting there or walking around with their Glass on? No chicks, I know that. No way with those Glassers (coining that) out there who might be able to know everything about you just by scanning your face.

If this catches on, however, introverts rejoice! No need to talk to people ever again.  Not only will you be able to find out everything a person chooses to have online, you’ll probably be able to talk to all your friends by sending messages with your eyeballs.

So yeah, now you know man, and information is power. Enjoy your weekend, and watch out for those face scanners.

And now young Skywalker . . . you will die,

Corey Aaron

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