Is The Bachelor Over Yet?

This season of the bachelor is turning out to be completely ridiculous. I haven’t really watched The Bachelor before but I’ve seen episodes of previous seasons and I don’t remember the contestants being this ridiculous or the bachelor being so bland.

If you’re unaware, the premise of the show goes a little like this: One single man is basically given his pick of 25 gorgeous women. For a girl to remain on the show, she has to receive a rose by the end of the 2 hour episode. Yes, each episode lasts TWO HOURS. See ya, Monday night. In the event that a contestant does not receive a rose these prospective wives are sent home. At the end of the season, the bachelor must decide which girl he wants to marry. That’s right. He proposes. What’s the success rate of these couples? Five out of 24 couples to date are still together. Talk about heart break. But that’s what you get for being on a terrible reality show.

The current bachelor is Juan Pablo. He was on the most recent season of The Bachelorette. The Bachelor has been on for 17 seasons and The Bachelorette has been on for 9. That’s 24 combined seasons of this show and the contestants STILL aren’t prepared for what they’re involved in. These girls are still shocked that the bachelor is making out with the other girls. Um, hello! I watched the interview episode. A bunch of you knew who the bachelor was…as in you’ve watched the show before! Plus, if you’re applying to be on The Bachelor it’s probably wise to have watched it before. These women have no excuse to act like Juan Pablo is committing some kind of crime. Women are cutthroat. And crazy. Which you get to witness first hand.

Juan Pablo even realized what a poor role model he was being for his daughter, making out with all these women without a care. But then ended all too quickly. Because what’s The Bachelor without steamy make out sessions? Boring. It’s boring.

It’s also disturbing how attached they get to a guy they barely know. Many of the women are dead set on becoming Mrs. Juan Pablo. Ladies, you’re all beautiful. Why are you throwing yourself at a man on a reality show? You’re telling me there’s no one else? Ya had to compete with 24 other women for the man of your dreams? It’s also disconcerting that you’re attracted to his personality or lack thereof. This man is about as deep as a paper cut. There’s not much going on up there. Have you heard him have a meaningful conversation yet? In one-on-ones, the women open their hearts to him and he’s all “yeah” and “I know”. Do you? Can you form an actual sentence? You may have a huge heart which we can see by the way he cares for his daughter, but how’s that brain doing? Anything going on up there, stud? He’s lucky he’s pretty.

Speaking of his daughter, anyone know the whereabouts of the mother? Curious about her story, since they failed to divulge that information.

He’s also incapable of being honest with these girls. I saw him kick off that 21-year-old on her 22nd birthday. First of all, what the hell was she doing there at 21?? You really think this is your best option? Couldn’t get onto Real World? Girl, if you want to be a wife so bad go on, they’ll find someone compatible that doesn’t need to give you a rose every time he sees you in order for you to know to stick around. Or I’ve got an idea, DATE! Your first option out of college should not be appear on a reality show where I most likely won’t find my husband. Okay, back to his honesty issue. He was telling her how she was such a great girl and acting so sad that he was kicking her off while he should have just been straight forward with her. Don’t lie to appear genuine. You’re not an actor.

Juan Pablo: Sorry, but we’re just not as compatible as I am with the other girls. I had a great time with you on the show, but I just don’t see us having a future. 
And none for Gretchen Weiners. Bye!
Girl sobs into his shirt while he looks at his watch waiting for her to be done but still trying to be a gentleman. 

Solid dialogue. Short, sweet and to the point with a little Mean Girls thrown in there. I should be a writer.

There’s even a girl on the show that’s not interested in the bachelor! She actually feels guilty for staying on the show while these girls that really fell for him are getting sent home. Know why she’s still there? Because she adds spice to the group, and she’s intelligent. She knows there’s no connection because he’s not interesting. He’s Venezuelan, played professional soccer and has a kid. Pretty sure that’s the gist of his life. Oh Juan Pablo, how I wish there was more substance there. Maybe you’re an introvert, concealing your real emotions and intellect within yourself. Or maybe you’re a bit dumb. Who knows? I just know that I watch the show only when someone else is watching it since it is entertaining, in a sad, pathetic way.

But in all seriousness, I hope they work out.

The Bachelor: Barely bringing people together since 2002. Oh dear lord, since 2002? What is wrong with the world!?


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