Eat Yo Damn Sandwich

Anyone seen the Crystal Light commercial?

Anyone as offended by that commercial as I am?

Okay, Crystal Light, which marketing team decided it was a good idea to advocate not finishing your lunch as a (hashtag) tiny win? How is not finishing your sandwich a win? How does it become a loss if she eats both halves? She eats it all, but not at the same time? Cool tag line. It makes no sense. A #tinywin is not leaving the other half of your sandwich, a #tinywin is eating all your sandwich and feeling amazing because you have a hearty appetite.

You don’t know me. You don’t know how much I like to eat. Maybe one half of a sandwich doesn’t do it for me and I actually have to eat both halves that I paid for? Maybe one whole sandwich isn’t enough because I’m a bottomless pit and I need two sandwiches to quiet the beast within. Does that mean I lose? Is that one big loss?

There is nothing wrong with finishing your meal in one sitting. Did you hear that ladies? NOTHING! Not sure what the commercial is trying to advocate. This does not encourage correct portions. I don’t know why this woman thinks this a tiny win. It’s more like a loss when you can’t finish a measly sandwich.

To be honest, I was so focused on the fact that she didn’t eat her sandwich that I forgot what the commercial was advertising. I totally forgot the product behind the terrible excuse for an advertisement. So are they saying a tiny win is also squirting flavored dye in your water to make it taste like something other than water?

That’s okay, I’ll pass. I’m going to drink Mio instead because their commercials are far more entertaining and far less misleading.

#eatmyshortscrystallight

Toby

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