The New York Times ran an interactive map in today’s paper that shows the breakdown of baseball fandom across the country, down to the zip code. Unsurprisingly but still unfortunately, teams like the Mets and A’s are the most liked team exactly nowhere. I don’t say that to be mean or because I’m a big, horrible Yankee fan that loves to crush Met fans and constantly remind them how much better the Yankee franchise is, but because according to this map, it’s true. Oh here it is if you don’t feel like clicking the link:
It’s also unsurprising that the “default” team across the country is the Yankees, since Americans love to root for the underdog in a singular game but go for the continuously successful team in the long term. At the end of the day everybody’s a front runner in disguise, which shouldn’t be that surprising since winning is categorically better than losing.
Still, there’s something to be said for all of those devoted fans that stick with their team despite decades of mediocrity, and it’s called masochism. I’m not telling you to abandon the Cubs or Indians or any other team that hasn’t won in a long time, but maybe you should consider “reinventing” yourself. After all, it’s just a damn sports team. You didn’t make a covenant sealed with your own blood or semen, you receive literally zero money from supporting your team (actually it costs you money, maybe a lot), and it’s not like there’s even such a thing as loyalty or rivalry anymore. These guys switch teams more often than the god damn radio plays “Happy” (has a song ever done such a good job of instilling the exact opposite of the emotion that it originally intended?) and to top it off all of these guys are friends now. Nobody hates each other and nobody hates any other city or team because they might be playing there in a few years if they’re offered more dollars from them.
So I guess what I’m saying is if you’re sick of your team losing then go find another one. You might be a hypocrite but everyone is, so at least you’d be one of the few who admit it. Plus whatever pain you might receive from hypocrisy and selling out can definitely be made up from the positive feelings associated with not being a fan of a shitty franchise. I mean seriously, some of them aren’t even trying to win. So that’s my advice today: go become a winner. Well, actually you don’t win anything when the team you’re a fan of wins. but reap the benefits of having all of the positive feelings associated with being better than others. There’s a word for that, but it escapes me for a moment.
Go whatever team brings the most pleasure!