Backstreet’s Back…

ALRIGHT! Woo, okay, at least we got that out of the way. My utmost apologies for my absence, I’m sure you were all really sad and concerned. If you’re one of the few fans we have left who didn’t either kill themselves (because I wasn’t here, hehe) or completely abandon us forever then rejoice! You’re in for some big things! I promise, and you know it’s true since nobody would ever break a promise that was made on the internet. The gloves are coming off and no punches are going to be pulled, whatever the hell that means. You’ll definitely need to grab something before reading future posts, because you will be blown away. Ha. Alright that’s the last one of those for now.

It’s true though, I have some big ideas (big is a relative term) and now that summer’s here we’re going to make them happen. Okay, funds might be lacking for a few of my ideas but I can definitely do like two of them. So be prepared, you’re going to get two big Kram projects coming your way. I really hope I don’t have to point them out when this goes down.

Hmmm, well I can’t just end it there right? You want a bit more than a few seemingly empty guarantees. I know I do.

Lets see…. Oh, if you haven’t seen X-Men: Day’s of Future Past, which I suppose you may not have, you should drop whatever it is you’re doing right now and head to the nearest theatre to see it. It’s really awesome. I so can’t even right now. But yeah it’s an extremely solid comic book movie and an awesome X-Men movie. I’ll probably give my full review on it later and try to figure out where it fits in in the X-Men cinematic universe. As a quick aside can you believe there are seven of them? You mean there’s already nine movies in the Marvel cinematic universe and it started eight years after? Alright buzzkill, just go see X-Men, we can argue about it later.

What else has happened in my absence? Surely we’ve put a couple people on Mars or ended poverty or some shit right? I guess it just wasn’t quite that long. Speaking of Mars, another thing that you should watch if you haven’t already is Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey.

I think there are around 11 episodes already out and each one is fantastic. If you don’t know, it’s hosted by Neil Degrasse Tyson, who is pretty much the man and the 21st century’s premier ambassador for the sciences. So if you like science (which if you don’t, I don’t like you), getting your mind blown repeatedly or are a fan of ridiculous comparisons then you should check The Cosmos out. You’ll learn about a lot of shit that you probably wondered about but were too stupid to google.

That’s all I have for now but it’s good to be back, you’ll hear from me soon, and we definitely have some fun stuff on the horizon. Or at least fun for me.

Final thought: what’s the deal with these kids, literally tiny children, who are able to sing like a full bodied person? I don’t know much about acoustics but I feel like there’s literally not enough of them to be able to generate that much sound. Maybe some kids are skillful in stealing people’s voices a la The Little Mermaid, except in real life they must be skipping the tiny white chicks for big black soul singers. Seriously there’s no way kids can naturally generate that kind of voice. Alright I’m done.

Later masturbator,

Corey Aaron

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