Thoughts Everybody’s Had Behind the Wheel

1. “Oh this asshole has got to be kidding me.”

2. “Old person? Old person.”

3. “I swear I’ll leave earlier tomorrow.”

4. “Get off my fucking ass guy.”

5. “Could those headlights be any brighter?”

6. “I’ll never do anything bad again if you get me home before I shit my pants.”

7. “Did I turn off the oven? I mean. . . I. . .definitely did. . .right?”

8. “A little fuckin’ water starts falling from the sky and everyone drives like an idiot.”

9. “Fucking pothole!”

10. “If nothing bad would happen to me by doing this I would ram the shit out out of you.”

11. “That guy’s a maniac!”

12. “I hope someone hits you!”

13. “How long is this red light?”

14. “Did you have to make a full stop?”

15. “I swear to god I fucking hate everyone.”

16. “Look at this bitch texting and driving!”

17. “The light’s GREEN. Fucking GREEN. Lets go people!”

18. “I definitely put my dildos away, right?”

19. “Asian? Asian.”

20.  “It’s just a little snow people!”

21. “Who the fuck let you get a license?”

22. “If there are just a couple cops hanging out at the end of this line of traffic I’m going to kill somebody.”

23. “No I won’t let you in, try the next guy.”

24. “How fast can I make it home?”

25. “If fucking “Dark Horse” or “Happy” comes on one more time I’m going to lose it.”

26. “Get out the wayyy!”

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