My Explanation Of “Coffee Meets Bagel”

Tinder is arguably the most popular dating app right now. It’s fast, easy and a reliable way to meet new people. As shallow as it might be, it’s effective. For those that would appreciate an alternative, there is also an app called Coffee Meets Bagel, where people are bagels and can be bought with beans.

Unlike Tinder where you get to mindlessly swipe through an array of options, CMB gives you one option a day at noon. You then have 24 hours to make a decision. If you both like each other, great, you now can chat and get a ridiculous conversation starter. From there, you have 8 days to exchange numbers before the chat closes for-e-ver. Scary, right?

Fortunately, CMB is far more selective than Tinder. Like Tinder, you can control gender preference and age range, but you can also select for ethnicity and religion. Discrimination at its best. I like it because it’s now free J-date without being swamped with Jewish men. However, my fears of Jewish men are just supported because they all seem super weird. Sorry, but Jewish guys are weird with a few exceptions. So far, none of those exceptions have really been given. Hell, they probably aren’t CMB because they have lovely girlfriends. Cool. I’ll just be sitting here trying to scrounge up enough beans to buy the next normal guy I see. That’s right, because beans are used as currency on this app. You can take it seriously, and actually pay to acquire beans and purchase your next bagel or you can invite all your friends on FB and let them know where you’re at in life.

They claim to produce successful relationships and have cute merchandise that says “what happens at noon?”. Eh. Not sure I’m sold. Maybe if they gave me a few more beans we could talk.

Bagel out.

Toby

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